Exist

How to stop stress from bringing you down

I wonder how many startup founders get sick, fat, or exhausted from all the stress it creates.

Josh and I have just moved house (rumoured to be one of life's most stressful events, though that's not supported by evidence). Apart from the packing, moving, organising, and unpacking, we've also had work schedules to stay on top of, family to see, and Christmas to plan.

I'm a self-identified stress-head, so this was enough to really wear on me. I've had trouble sleeping (and thus been feeling tired and low in energy), been short-tempered, had trouble focusing, and been feeling frustrated.

I only recently read about how damaging stress can be to the brain and body in John Medina's excellent book Brain Rules, so I know it's time to start bringing down my stress levels.

How does stress work?

We all experience stress, but I didn't understand how it worked until I did some research.

To start with, stress is subjective. Whether we're stressed or not is really a measure of our reactions, rather than an objective measure of the events taking place around us. For instance, being 130m up in the air at the top of the London Eye was an incredibly stressful experience for me, but Josh wasn't stressed at all—he actually enjoyed the views. We can't say that going up in the London Eye is inherently stressful or not; it depends on how you react to it.

What's even more surprising is that the physical signals of stress aren't objective, either. The reason, as Medina explains in Brain Rules, is that "the same mechanisms that cause you to shrink in horror from a predator are also used when you are having sex—or even while you are consuming your Thanksgiving dinner". The way our bodies respond to pleasure and stress is a very similar state of physiological arousal. As Medina says, to our bodies, "saber-toothed tigers and orgasms and turkey gravy look remarkably similar".

Although stress is difficult to test, Jeansok Kim and David Diamond came up with a way to do so. The test contains three required elements to determine that a person is stressed:

• They must be in an aroused physical state that someone else can recognise.
• The stimulation for that arousal must be considered aversive.
• They must not feel in control of the stimulation that's making them feel stressed.

When we were moving house, there were certainly moments when my stress was obvious to other people. It was due to the overwhelming process of moving, which I don't enjoy at all (definitely an aversive stressor). And it was those points when I felt out of control of the process that my stress became clear. So that experience fits the bill easily.

Even when I'm simply stressed about having a lot of work to do, the three-part test works: my stressed state becomes obvious to people around me as I look—and act—tired, become short-tempered, or lose my concentration quickly. I get stressed because I have work to do that's unpleasant (or at least, the amount of it is unpleasant), and I don't feel that I can cut back on my workload—thus, lack of control.

The test might not always fit perfectly, but I think it's a good general guide to identifying stress.

The important thing to remember about stress is that it's subjective. The way you react to a situation determines whether or not it's stressful for you—and that's all that's important when it comes to treating the symptoms of stress.

How does stress affect the brain and body?

So when we are stressed, how does that affect us?

The way our bodies respond to stress is essentially a leftover reaction that hasn't evolved to match our new lifestyles yet. It's heavily based on our fight-or-flight response, and is designed to keep us alive when facing immediate, short-term threats—like a tiger that wants to eat us, rather than keeping our customers and investors happy day in, day out.

One of the first things that happens in a stressful situation is that our bodies are flooded with hormones including adrenaline and cortisol. Adrenaline is the stuff that makes your heart beat harder and your legs run faster. It makes sure your body is moving quickly and efficiently to get you out of danger. These stress-induced hormones together are called glucocorticoids, and they help us focus on the immediate danger by suppressing less important functions like breaking down food (this is why you sometimes feel queasy when you're stressed, or even throw up undigested food).

The trouble with having an outdated stress response is that ongoing stress can mean too much of these stress hormones floating around in our systems. Rather than rare, short bursts of the hormones in the face of life-or-death situations, we're getting moderately stressed a lot of the time, and that's bad for our bodies. Too much adrenaline over time can affect your blood pressure regulation, making you more prone to heart attacks and strokes.

Chronic stress can even affect your immune system, making it harder for you to fight off illness. People who are chronically stressed are more likely to pick up common colds because their bodies struggle to fight off the germs.

Chronic stress is the key here: acute stress can sometimes be beneficial but long-term or regular stress is what hurts our bodies. A little stress can help us form stronger memories, for instance, but when our brains are constantly feeling the pressure of stress we struggle to remember things as well, to process language, or to perform maths. Long-term stress also affects our abilities to concentrate and to solve problems.

To sum up, our natural stress reaction is a bit behind the times. It was designed for very short, highly dangerous situations, and doesn't help us much when we're stressed a lot over time. Chronic stress means stress-induced hormones build up in our bodies leading to problems with concentration, a weakened immune system, and troubles with cognitive processing.

Thankfully, we can make a difference to our own stress levels. Preventing stress in the first place is obviously ideal, but we can also find methods for relaxing when stress threatens to overwhelm us.

How can we avoid stress?

Let's look at some ways to reduce stress that can be incorporated into your normal day (they're my favourite kind).

Deep breathing

Deep breaths that use the diaphragm and make your belly swell will do more than let you hold notes longer in the shower. Studies have shown this type of deep breathing can physically decrease the signs of stress in your body (lowering levels of cortisol, one of those helpful-in-small-doses stress hormones).

Slow breathing can also help your body's relaxation system take over from the system responsible for your fight-or-flight response—the one that makes your heart race and your hands shake. So next time something gets your blood pumping, sit quietly and do ten deep breaths to calm your body. Try breathing with your hands on your stomach so you can feel it moving up and down as you breathe in, and let all of the air escape as you breathe out.

Get a dog

I'm not a fan of pets personally, but I can't ignore what the research says. Studies have found pet owners tend to be less stressed than those who don't have pets. Having a dog, in particular, can also lead to lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

Listen to music

Some research has shown listening to music can make stressful situations (like giving a speech or going to the dentist) less painful. In one study of cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy and radiation, listening to music improved mood and lowered blood pressure and heart rate.

Don't vent

If you're a perfectionist, venting about a stressful situation could actually make you feel worse. One study found that venting, self-blame, denial, and withdrawal all made perfectionist participants feel worse about a setback. Acceptance, positive reframing (finding something good in a bad situation), and humour helped participants feel better.

Chew gum

It might sound silly, but chewing gum has been shown to reduce levels of stress and anxiety. Not only that, but chewing gum can also increase alertness and improve your performance on cognitive tasks. It's no silver bullet, but in addition to some of these other techniques, chewing a stick of gum while you work might be beneficial.

Take control

I didn't find any studies to back me up here (let me know if you've found one) but since the third part of Kim and Diamond's stress test is based on feeling out of control, I think taking control of a stressful situation could help to lessen the impact of it. I've often felt frustrated at my own apparent lack of control, but by taking charge of a situation I can sometimes make it more manageable. This might mean disappointing some people—or yourself—by cancelling events, postponing deadlines, or declining invitations, but in my experience it's worth the short-term disappointment to look after yourself better in the long run.

I don't always remember this is an option, so I'm lucky to have Josh around to remind me. During our stressful weeks of moving house, Josh helped me realise I didn't need to stick to every arbitrary deadline I'd set for myself, and that I could cancel or postpone non-urgent events. Clearing anything I could do without off my schedule made me feel organised and in-control again.

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Other options for relaxing include old classics like reading a good book, spending time with people you love, and taking a warm bath or shower. You could also try aromatherapy (personally I hate the smell of lavender, but it's been proven to be relaxing), writing, drawing, or any other creative hobby you enjoy.

Whatever you do, don't let your stress get out of control. Now that we've talked about how badly stress affects our brains and bodies, we both know it's a bad idea to let it pile up over time.

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Image credits: Christian Holzinger, Viktor Hanacek, Ryan McGuire